The incident began with a familiar local ritual: young boys ringing doorbells and running away. Several residents then reported that at least one door was kicked rather than knocked, a detail which moved the story briskly from mild nuisance to full neighbourhood talking point.
Angry reactions soon appeared on Facebook, with some posters saying they were going to call the police. By mid-morning, the imaginary incident desk had upgraded the situation to an “alleged public-order emergency”, despite no confirmed arrests, cordons or tactical response teams.
“Our neighbourhood is worse than 90s Ballymun,” said one anonymous commentator, apparently while standing safely indoors and refreshing Facebook.
As the day went on, the facts developed legs of their own. A doorbell became a communications network. A kicked door became a breach of the peace. Three hi-vis jackets became a riot squad, and one clipboard — spotted somewhere in the general direction of a driveway — was accepted as evidence of a major Garda operation.
At the time of going to press, the young suspects remained unidentified, the doorbells remained operational and one giggling one-year-old baby had been placed in informal custody for looking “far too pleased with itself”. Residents are advised to remain calm, secure all door furniture and avoid saying “it’s not like it used to be” unless prepared to provide a statement.